i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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