I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
