dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
