it wasn't lemon gatorade
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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