I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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