Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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