Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Who died my cat blue again?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
