I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You pole danced in your parka.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
