We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
