I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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