I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
