so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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