I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
