I wanna passion pit in your ass
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I love having hate sex.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
