by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
