If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i am craving dick and cupcakes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
