i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
