no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
