I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's shark week go big or go home
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize