It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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