My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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