I hate all girls vehemently.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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