I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
