her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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