ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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