I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
