are you so shy because you have an std?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
