the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
