Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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