And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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