You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I believe in your delicious
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
