If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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