Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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