i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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