return my video game
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
