just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
