i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
