Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
