so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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