remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
