Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
