i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
