I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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