is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
