why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
