Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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