On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize