Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
