At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
