is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
