I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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