I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize