Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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