Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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