i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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