Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize