I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
