so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
