from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize