so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
