Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
