the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
