Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
one might say we're banned from that church
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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