Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
